Walking home from work tonight was beautifully peaceful. Pretty unexpected as it was Friday night just as all the pubs were throwing out. I chose not to fill my ears with Daft Punk to speed up my walk home, I just walked, enjoyed the mild air and took in the quiet. The quiet allowed me the space to think. Really think. It’s the beginning of a whole New Year. 2013. The slate is clean and it is time to make this year really count. The thing is, that in part of my life I’m just not that happy. My family life could not be more wonderful, but work, well that is a different story entirely.
I recently started a new job to help pay the bills and give me some security whilst I begin a new business, find time to write this blog and raise my daughter. I waitress in a restaurant/bar so I have my days free whilst my daughter is in nursery to develop new nourishing products for my business and type away at this. I have been fortunate to love my work for at least the past 4 years, and work with the most amazingly beautiful beings. Thats not to say that at times is wasn’t a challenge, but I have always enjoyed being part of the Happy Kitchen team. My new job to say the least is a little different. I am not used to working in an environment where I feel I am disliked/misunderstood by a large part of the team. Somehow I feel I have got off on the wrong foot with couple of the people I work with. Yes I messed up an order in the beginning days (maybe even two!), commented on how I thought they could improve their coffee, and maybe I was just a little too happy for their liking. Nothing has been said directly, but when working with certain peolpe there is definitely an uncomfortable atmosphere. At first it upset me. For me there is nothing worse than feeling I don’t fit in. Not knowing what you have said or done to upset/piss off people is a pretty crappy place to be. I then tried to ignore it and push on through, followed by most recently by actively making the choice not to dread going to work, but to choose to see it as a character building experience. After having changed my mindset, it has improved it somewhat, it sure still isn’t that great.
The beautiful thing about my music-less walk home was it helped me to get clear on how I could fix the situation. I listened to that voice in my head that rarely shuts up. I took on all that it had to say, and looked for a solution. And in the peace and quiet, I realised how simple it was. I just need to be authentic with them. Really authentic. I need to give up playing the victim and thinking “Poor me, working in a job I don’t enjoy with people who don’t like me”. I need to take responsibility for how I can transform the situation into the one I really desire – a job that makes me happy and supports me in achieving all the other things I want to pursue. It really isn’t a lot to ask. I realised all I need to do is to communicate what is really there. What is there, is that I would love to know where it all went wrong, what exactly it is I have said and done, not so I can make them wrong, but so I can understand it from their perspective. I also need to let them know how it feels from my perspective; to be dreading going to work, to know something is wrong but not to be given any hints or feedback on how to fix it. I know that unless all of the crap is put on the table, it is forever going to get in the way of these working relationships. I need to admit where I was wrong, clear up the crap and create a new relationship. It all sounds so simple. Yet how many of us regularly do it? I know I spend a whole lot of my life avoiding uncomfortable situations. Not being really authentic for fear of offending/upsetting/or not being liked. But is that really living life to the full? I think not. Life is to be enjoyed, it is far too short to be hung up on misunderstandings, miscommunications and made up stuff; Things that don’t actually matter. So, 2013 is the year where I am committed to getting authentic. For saying what is really there and not being afraid. It’s a pretty huge commitment, and it scares me! But here I am willing to put it our there. I know that by sharing it all with you, that it is out, created in language, not just in my head. There is no turning back, you can hold me to it.
This now means that I have to go and have a few big conversations. Ones I secretly would love to avoid. It makes me feel slightly sick. But these emotions have me truly know that what I am about to take on is not playing it safe. I want an extraordinary life. Playing safe does not create that.
2013 for me is all about love, gratitude and being authentic.
You see, living a nourishing life is not just about what food you put in your body. It’s about so much more. All the relationships and thoughts we have contribute to how nourished our souls are. Without a nourished soul, it is impossible to have a truly nourished body. The both go hand in hand. I encourage you to be bold, to take on dealing with an old situation in a new way. Be brave. You might just find you get a different and surprising outcome.
Now I have shared my challenge, let me know what you will be taking on to make this year really count. It could be in work, at home or with friends. Even taking on small challenges make a big difference. The little achievements help to give the confidence to tackle the bigger issues. I like to imagine it as a domino effect.
I wish you luck, and am wishing myself luck too!